An Invitation to Friendship

Friendship is such a unique relationship because of the diverse nature of them. It would seem that relationships are tracked along this slow incline of a timeline. So the longer you’ve known each other, the better friends you should be. Time would seem like a good gauge of friendship in my opinion. But what I’ve noticed is that the timeline has very little to do with the actual depth of the friendship. One friendship could come into your life and within moments, it’s clear that you’ll be best friends for life. Others, after months or even years of living life with them, still haven’t made it past the “phase of life” sort of friendship.

What I’ve come to believe is that friendships grow in the tough conversations and the uncomfortable situations. Because in those moments, your friendship is tested. Like any relationship, it’s difficult to know how truly compatible y'all are until you’re forced to communicate, resolve, forgive, compromise and appreciate.

So rather than this consistent uphill slope, I believe friendship looks more like audio waves — a series of spikes and plateaus with a few downs sprinkled here and there. Each difficulty traversed by the pair is another spike in their friendship and each plateau is another lull, not in the negative sense, but in a sense that you’re simply enjoying the other person’s consistency in your friendship. Sadly, some friendships have their fair share of downs as well — points when there’s been a lack of those core elements needed to make any relationship work. Sometimes they recover. Sometimes they don’t.

My prayer is that, at the first sign of a plateau turning into a trough, there’s a mutual fight to understand the other person’s perspective, to overcome the obstacle and to come out stronger on the other side. And when those moments come — because they will come — it’s up to you not to simply dismiss them but to write them down in the history books of your relationship. Because they define what you’ve both become. Stronger individuals. Better friends.