Making Room for Intimacy

The way I'm wired, I'm pretty evenly split between my emotional and rational mind. Generally my rational mind wins out but only after a grueling battle inside my head where raw passions and feelings charge fiercely ahead but are slowly pushed back by the strong formations and strategy of my rational mind. I think I lean a teensie bit more toward logic and reason than I do emotion and gut feeling because I can more easily control my circumstances if I take a rational approach than an emotional one. At least if I make a decision that's rational, even if it blows up in my face, I know where to point the blame — right back at me.

Control means that I can better predict the end result and if I can't, then at least I can know where I messed up along the way. Emotion, on the other hand, means I can't predict anything and if something goes wrong, it could be one (or fifty) of ten thousand reasons. But what I've learned is that where there is control, there is no intimacy because control squeezes every bit of autonomy out of the other person and screams, "I don't trust you enough to be your own person." When dealing with people, I've learned that my emotional side, despite the risk of everything going terribly wrong, allows me to be me and them to be them... raw, uncut and vulnerable. Just where intimacy loves to live.

The most beautiful example of this, of course, is Christ. He, as the groom and we, as the bride, are in this deeply intimate relationship. And while He holds every power of the universe within a single breath, He releases us be our own person, make our own mistakes and choose our own path. Of course, the deeper we are in relationship with Him, we discover our path begins to align with His as He guides us through His Word and His Spirit, constantly presenting us with truth, calling us to follow Him but then letting us do with it what we will. Sometimes we'll make decisions that aren't the best for us.

And in those mistakes where we realize that we're messy, we press in to His truth and His love and find intimacy waiting for us.